Our children absorb every single word we say and all our deeds have an influence on their adulthood. Their brains are developing, and they have excess synapses at a rate of about 15,000 synapses a neuron which is two times more than the brains of adults.
The way parents talk to their children is the way the children talk to themselves. The way parents behave to their children affects the way they see themselves, and if the parents show anger and criticism, the child will be angry and hard on itself.
The way we treat ourselves affects our self-confidence and our approach to our own mistakes.
Due to all this, we need to be extra patient with our children. Being a parent is the most difficult, but most beautiful jobs in life, and it is your responsibility to teach your children to be better people and love themselves and the world around them.
The most important thing is to show them, love. Then, remember that they will make mistakes since they are children, so even though you try to scold them, they must feel loved and appreciated. When you talk to them, you should be warmhearted and kind.
Also, make sure the expression of love is obvious, as they cannot always notice the love between the parents.
Here are five phrases that you should never say to your child:
- “Big boys/girls are never afraid!”
This is so untrue, and you are well aware of it. Yet, saying this will only make your children afraid to express their feelings. You should support your children and explain to them that there is nothing they should be afraid of, as they are safe and secure.
- “You are not pretty/good/smart as you should be!”
This is a huge mistake, because you will make your children insecure, and they will think they are not good enough. Instead, you need to teach your children to love themselves.
- “Stop crying immediately!”
We all have the right to show how we feel, so if they feel like crying, allow them to cry without yelling at them. Instead, ask them about the reason for their sadness and hug them.
- “Why is it so hard to do _____?”
If you ask this, your child will feel unworthy, and incapable to do something properly. Instead, show your children how to do things.
- “I cannot believe you did that!”
It is very selfish to want your child to feel bad because you feel disappointed. Yet, you need to tell your child what and why they did wrong.